I've had a hard time writing on my blog recently. There are two main reasons that I can think of for this. First, much of my recent exploration has been internal, contemplative in nature vs. meeting random strangers in random places. I'm not sure that's as interesting to others. Secondly, the truth about good writing is that the actually writing only accounts for about 10% of the quality. The quality of the ideas and the mental process to refine them is the bulk of what's required. My brain has been consumed in the last month by "work" (loosely defined). Again, since the purpose of this blog is not to spend hours expounding on the precise definition of "innovation" or translating a mission into a strategy and integrating that into an organizational culture.....see I can feel your eyes glazing over already.....there's been nothing else of adequate quality of thought to pen. Here's an attempt to create a window into that scary world, bring some of these ideas on "how to change the world" that are percolating internally out into the discourse.
Social change has always seemed fuzzy and ambiguous to me. I recognize that it happens and is important, but my own interest has always been on the system--the underlying apparatus of levers that create the environment and situations. I buy the economist idea that people largely behave in predictable ways, so if you know how you want them to behave, just create the right incentives and circumstances. Social change seems to focus on changing people. Silly strategy.
And yet, this year I've felt myself increasingly feeling the responsibility to be an agent of social change. I haven't lost my faith in systems, but there is an interaction between individuals, groups (and norms) and systems, which is where the real gold lies. When you get these things to line up, that's when you can really "crack the whip" and shoot around the bend. What social change in particular I want to see, that's harder to articulate, but certainly there is a sense that I want us to be less complacent--both in terms of how well we understand the world and each other, and in our propensity to be active change agents in contributing to creating a better world (including the systems that are large drivers of how the world functions). With underlying values of autonomy, solidarity, justice, and equality. Not ambitious in the slightest. Note that it's NOT a resolution for 2012! This is like the lifelong plan. And I know I'm cocky and optimistic, but I don't think I can, or should, do it alone. So I'm starting my recruitment activities right now.
Newsflash: getting people to change how they think and act is hard! Unless you are selling some useless product and want to get teenagers to think it's really cool, maybe then it's easy. As I grow more serious about this, I realize that I have to be harder on myself, and to the fullest extent possible, consistent in how I think and act. I have to internalize these values and practice them at all times. Not take short cuts to get quick results. Change is an uphill battle. People don't come to you, usually, and say, "I have a deficiency in how I live. Please tell me how to change it and I'll implement it precisely." It's much more complex than that--you know, from thinking about those that have affected you. Some are people you've never met--they are the Paul Farmers that you read about in Mountains Beyond Mountains, or the heroines profiled in the Arab spring. They show what's possible. But most of us don't identify with them. Sometimes we're propelled by events in front of our eyes. Michael Prichard gave a great Ted talk about what inspired him to make a new device for clean water--watching the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and the Asian Tsunami made him angry enough to hole up in his basement and just get it done. Emotion, both in one's self and empathy for others, is essential for change. In several instances (in Bangladesh most recently, because that's where I am, but it has happened to me in all corners of the world), I feel that people have doubted my humanity. They think that I don't feel emotion, here at least in part because I'm foreign and I'm white. So it's okay to take advantage of me, either in small ways by giving me a rather high price, to deceiving me in relationships, to setting me up to be martyred in professional/social situations. As I am a human being, this does hurt! If you don't think I can feel, why would you feel guilty about doing these things? You wouldn't. I don't feel guilty about walking on grass because I don't think that the grass "suffers" as a result. I don't recognize the humanity of the grass. The problem (well, at least one problem) comes when I start thinking of other people (or groups of people) as grass--something that can be trampled, exploited, beaten, killed. I think philosophers write about this (I can sense an email from Walker telling me he told me to read Rorty years ago and I've ignored him coming my way).
Why don't (some) people here immediately see me as a human? Well, some of them have watched western movies and see that we Americans are only superficially emotional and highly sexual. Then there's the colonial history in which no doubt there were many British who were not particularly humane in their treatment of South Asia. Look no further than the Bengal famine in 1943 to see tremendous evidence of that. I'm sure that large parts of the social systems that bother me are remnants of the colonial rulers, rather than exclusively local creations. And more recently, there are foreigners who come here--some with intentions to do good, others to exploit--few to stay, and almost all with their own priorities and goals that don't resonate with people here (or are never properly explained). Bangladeshis abroad write home about their experiences; not everywhere in the world are we particularly friendly to immigrants. So, if I want people to instinctively recognize the humanity within me and respond to it, I have to figure out how to mobilize changes everywhere. And I'm asking you to help.
Some of you will see irony in me quoting Ayn Rand in a plea for increasing your sense of solidarity, but I will anyway, at least twice in this post. First is to say, "Those who fight for a better tomorrow, live in it today." To the extent possible, I have to emphasize on this goal. Honesty is an important tool, perhaps especially in asking honest questions (instead of relying on assumptions) and really listening and trying to understand what others say. This is hard, both because it requires concentration and, you can't listen and understand without making yourself emotionally available. People feel all the time. We feel at our jobs, we feel at our hobbies; we just feel. Humans do that! So to tune it out, marginalize it, or regard it as irrelevant is to cast aside one of the most important dimensions of being human. I can't expect others to care about my own feelings if I don't demonstrate concern for theirs. I've been trying to do this for a few months now, and I find it very challenging, and at times scary. I don't know what to say often, actually most of the time--women at the office have shared stories about intimate partner violence, others about terminally ill relatives, losing families and friends, challenging relationships with supervisors, parents, or others; even good stuff, like finding love or exciting job opportunities, often come with a set of challenging decisions and trade-offs. Life is messy and unfortunately, there are not clear solutions for a lot of these things. But I believe that there's value to listening, caring, and accompanying.
These gifts certainly keep me motivated and energized in hard moments here. Along with emotional candor. Why are support groups such a common thing for people who have experienced trauma? Because to some degree, we want our experience (that is, how we experience and make sense of it) to be normalized. Study findings came out earlier this year that Facebook makes everyone look happy all the time, which was depressing! Humans are social; we need to see emotions in others to be okay with our own. So despite the fact that it makes me very uncomfortable, I am trying to be more open about my emotional well being. Universally. I've forced myself to blog about difficult events, and been more forthcoming with friends and colleagues when things are difficult, even shedding a few tears here and there in the process. Humanity in the work place is important too. How I practice that as a colleague and manager, I'm trying to figure out day by day. Advice welcome!
Another thing that makes us human is laughter. Jimmy Buffett's got it down: "If we couldn't laugh, then we'd all go insane." Happiness. Enjoyment. Humanity is not just about sitting with people when they are sad, but also creating happy moments, making them laugh. Yes, I think that if everyone thought puns were funny, the world would be a better place! I see maintaining my sense of humor and what's more, wedging it into "non funny" situations as part of my quest for humanity. I know you're rolling your eyes, but this is critical. Who do you spend time trying to make laugh, or laughing with? People you love, people you trust, people that you value. If you want to convince someone that you appreciate them, make them laugh! And laugh with them. Humor can create a sense of trust and a safe space. In several of my friendships here, I've found that it's only through a lot of joking around, "adda" (gossip) as it's called, that we can to a point where we feel secure enough in the friendship to ask hard questions, or talk about difficult topics. I get to ask what it's like to live with your parents and not be on speaking terms with them. Or explain how it feels to be labeled as different and treated with a certain set of (wrong-ish) assumptions, to people that I've had this experience with. And then have them explain to me what it's like from their vantage point, to not fall in the "privileged" category that I do. The laughter is more fun, but these conversations and the resulting understandings and changes are priceless for me. They renew my hope in the world, energy for creating change, and excitement about life!
That's what I've got today--told you I'd been living in my head a lot; there are adventures to be had their too. If you lack a new year's resolution for 2012, choose one or all of the following: 1.) be a better listener, 2.) be more transparent about your feelings, 3.) Laugh more and with more people. Apply these to all realms of life, particularly in situations where humanity is very absent. An alternative to #2 and #3, if you are very lazy, is to simply add more emoticons to emails. Seriously :)
I'll let Ayn Rand have the last word. I love this quote because it's about tending to your inner fire, faith in humanity, and hope for the world, alive, which is a prerequisite to anything else:
In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title. Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours.
Social change has always seemed fuzzy and ambiguous to me. I recognize that it happens and is important, but my own interest has always been on the system--the underlying apparatus of levers that create the environment and situations. I buy the economist idea that people largely behave in predictable ways, so if you know how you want them to behave, just create the right incentives and circumstances. Social change seems to focus on changing people. Silly strategy.
And yet, this year I've felt myself increasingly feeling the responsibility to be an agent of social change. I haven't lost my faith in systems, but there is an interaction between individuals, groups (and norms) and systems, which is where the real gold lies. When you get these things to line up, that's when you can really "crack the whip" and shoot around the bend. What social change in particular I want to see, that's harder to articulate, but certainly there is a sense that I want us to be less complacent--both in terms of how well we understand the world and each other, and in our propensity to be active change agents in contributing to creating a better world (including the systems that are large drivers of how the world functions). With underlying values of autonomy, solidarity, justice, and equality. Not ambitious in the slightest. Note that it's NOT a resolution for 2012! This is like the lifelong plan. And I know I'm cocky and optimistic, but I don't think I can, or should, do it alone. So I'm starting my recruitment activities right now.
Newsflash: getting people to change how they think and act is hard! Unless you are selling some useless product and want to get teenagers to think it's really cool, maybe then it's easy. As I grow more serious about this, I realize that I have to be harder on myself, and to the fullest extent possible, consistent in how I think and act. I have to internalize these values and practice them at all times. Not take short cuts to get quick results. Change is an uphill battle. People don't come to you, usually, and say, "I have a deficiency in how I live. Please tell me how to change it and I'll implement it precisely." It's much more complex than that--you know, from thinking about those that have affected you. Some are people you've never met--they are the Paul Farmers that you read about in Mountains Beyond Mountains, or the heroines profiled in the Arab spring. They show what's possible. But most of us don't identify with them. Sometimes we're propelled by events in front of our eyes. Michael Prichard gave a great Ted talk about what inspired him to make a new device for clean water--watching the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and the Asian Tsunami made him angry enough to hole up in his basement and just get it done. Emotion, both in one's self and empathy for others, is essential for change. In several instances (in Bangladesh most recently, because that's where I am, but it has happened to me in all corners of the world), I feel that people have doubted my humanity. They think that I don't feel emotion, here at least in part because I'm foreign and I'm white. So it's okay to take advantage of me, either in small ways by giving me a rather high price, to deceiving me in relationships, to setting me up to be martyred in professional/social situations. As I am a human being, this does hurt! If you don't think I can feel, why would you feel guilty about doing these things? You wouldn't. I don't feel guilty about walking on grass because I don't think that the grass "suffers" as a result. I don't recognize the humanity of the grass. The problem (well, at least one problem) comes when I start thinking of other people (or groups of people) as grass--something that can be trampled, exploited, beaten, killed. I think philosophers write about this (I can sense an email from Walker telling me he told me to read Rorty years ago and I've ignored him coming my way).
Why don't (some) people here immediately see me as a human? Well, some of them have watched western movies and see that we Americans are only superficially emotional and highly sexual. Then there's the colonial history in which no doubt there were many British who were not particularly humane in their treatment of South Asia. Look no further than the Bengal famine in 1943 to see tremendous evidence of that. I'm sure that large parts of the social systems that bother me are remnants of the colonial rulers, rather than exclusively local creations. And more recently, there are foreigners who come here--some with intentions to do good, others to exploit--few to stay, and almost all with their own priorities and goals that don't resonate with people here (or are never properly explained). Bangladeshis abroad write home about their experiences; not everywhere in the world are we particularly friendly to immigrants. So, if I want people to instinctively recognize the humanity within me and respond to it, I have to figure out how to mobilize changes everywhere. And I'm asking you to help.
Some of you will see irony in me quoting Ayn Rand in a plea for increasing your sense of solidarity, but I will anyway, at least twice in this post. First is to say, "Those who fight for a better tomorrow, live in it today." To the extent possible, I have to emphasize on this goal. Honesty is an important tool, perhaps especially in asking honest questions (instead of relying on assumptions) and really listening and trying to understand what others say. This is hard, both because it requires concentration and, you can't listen and understand without making yourself emotionally available. People feel all the time. We feel at our jobs, we feel at our hobbies; we just feel. Humans do that! So to tune it out, marginalize it, or regard it as irrelevant is to cast aside one of the most important dimensions of being human. I can't expect others to care about my own feelings if I don't demonstrate concern for theirs. I've been trying to do this for a few months now, and I find it very challenging, and at times scary. I don't know what to say often, actually most of the time--women at the office have shared stories about intimate partner violence, others about terminally ill relatives, losing families and friends, challenging relationships with supervisors, parents, or others; even good stuff, like finding love or exciting job opportunities, often come with a set of challenging decisions and trade-offs. Life is messy and unfortunately, there are not clear solutions for a lot of these things. But I believe that there's value to listening, caring, and accompanying.
These gifts certainly keep me motivated and energized in hard moments here. Along with emotional candor. Why are support groups such a common thing for people who have experienced trauma? Because to some degree, we want our experience (that is, how we experience and make sense of it) to be normalized. Study findings came out earlier this year that Facebook makes everyone look happy all the time, which was depressing! Humans are social; we need to see emotions in others to be okay with our own. So despite the fact that it makes me very uncomfortable, I am trying to be more open about my emotional well being. Universally. I've forced myself to blog about difficult events, and been more forthcoming with friends and colleagues when things are difficult, even shedding a few tears here and there in the process. Humanity in the work place is important too. How I practice that as a colleague and manager, I'm trying to figure out day by day. Advice welcome!
Another thing that makes us human is laughter. Jimmy Buffett's got it down: "If we couldn't laugh, then we'd all go insane." Happiness. Enjoyment. Humanity is not just about sitting with people when they are sad, but also creating happy moments, making them laugh. Yes, I think that if everyone thought puns were funny, the world would be a better place! I see maintaining my sense of humor and what's more, wedging it into "non funny" situations as part of my quest for humanity. I know you're rolling your eyes, but this is critical. Who do you spend time trying to make laugh, or laughing with? People you love, people you trust, people that you value. If you want to convince someone that you appreciate them, make them laugh! And laugh with them. Humor can create a sense of trust and a safe space. In several of my friendships here, I've found that it's only through a lot of joking around, "adda" (gossip) as it's called, that we can to a point where we feel secure enough in the friendship to ask hard questions, or talk about difficult topics. I get to ask what it's like to live with your parents and not be on speaking terms with them. Or explain how it feels to be labeled as different and treated with a certain set of (wrong-ish) assumptions, to people that I've had this experience with. And then have them explain to me what it's like from their vantage point, to not fall in the "privileged" category that I do. The laughter is more fun, but these conversations and the resulting understandings and changes are priceless for me. They renew my hope in the world, energy for creating change, and excitement about life!
That's what I've got today--told you I'd been living in my head a lot; there are adventures to be had their too. If you lack a new year's resolution for 2012, choose one or all of the following: 1.) be a better listener, 2.) be more transparent about your feelings, 3.) Laugh more and with more people. Apply these to all realms of life, particularly in situations where humanity is very absent. An alternative to #2 and #3, if you are very lazy, is to simply add more emoticons to emails. Seriously :)
I'll let Ayn Rand have the last word. I love this quote because it's about tending to your inner fire, faith in humanity, and hope for the world, alive, which is a prerequisite to anything else:
In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title. Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours.
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