Friendship, defined

A good friend (my definition, not a "friend") is one who uses 

his camera to pose as a photographer and sneak into the 

women's section of a wedding to make sure you're not 

awkwardly standing in the corner by yourself.  No comment on

whether I was......I swear I was there by choice.......

All sociologists know that when you venture into another country, you're apt to find differences in the language, even in the way that locals use English.  Bangladesh, as formerly under British rule, is no exception.  I've been learning to use words like "biscuit" (and not the buttermilk kind), "lift," "flat," and "football" much to the dismay of my yankee pride.  I also realize how much of communication goes beyond the precise meaning of words--I can say "I see London, I see France....." to Ruthie, and she gets the message without me notifying the entire bus that she needs to adjust her shirt/pants.

I'm happy to be friendly if it helps me steal the ball :)

One word that I didn't anticipate having quite as much trouble with was "friendship."  That one seems pretty straightforwardly platonic.  And yet, this word has been a serious troublemaker for me.  For example, the way I increase the balance on my cell phone is I head to one of the myriad stands on the street and ask the guy there to transfer 100 taka or so (USD 1.50) to my phone number.  Often when I do this, I get a call within 10 minutes from an unknown number with someone in broken English who wants to offer me "Bangladeshi friendship."  Usually I tell the person that I "HATE friendship", promptly store the number to my phone as "NO FRIENDSHIP" (1, 2, 3.....etc.) and make a mental note not to top up at that specific location again (I **think** I've found one on my street that's safe; we're 3-3 visits with no follow up sketchy calls.

The other night on the way to soccer ("football"), someone from Sierra Leone stopped me in the street and suggested we be "friends."  He said, "We should be friends.  Do you understand?"  Uhhhhhh, evidently not?  I declined.  It feels a little rude to be rejecting friendship left and right, but here, it's rarely a good idea to smile and nod if you don't understand.  Better to say "bhuji na" (I don't understand) or "No thank you" and walk away.

The "friend" I made on the "private" beach who followed Ruthie 

and me on our hour long walk.  He interpreted jole jao (go away) 

as "take one step back, pause for 15 seconds, then resume

initial position."

Well, last night, lying in bed, listening to my fan whirl overhead and peacefully sleeping away, my slumber was interrupted by the beeping of my cellphone, signifying the arrival of a text message.  I crack one eye open to check the time--slightly after midnight.  "That's odd," I think, "who could that be?"
It's the nice young man I met on the bus ride back to Dhaka from Sonargaon a few months ago.  We had a perfectly normal and nice conversation, and it ended with him offering to show me around Dhaka sometime.  It's been a while since we'd talked (on April 14 he called to wish me a happy Bengali New Year), but I guess that he felt that there was a lack of clarity around the nature of   the hour we'd spent sitting next to each other on the bus.  It said,

"Hi Dear.  Do u know what is friendship?  According to me it's harmonious relationship b2in 2 person with sharing views, ideas, openion, sorrowness, happynes and so on.  it is the basis of all types of relationship.  so u can take any one as ur friend.  could u plz make me as ur friend?"

At last!  A definition!  From a local!!  I mean, without urban dictionary, it can be hard to learn these new terms (or old terms with new meanings) that come flying at me from all angles.  So I appreciate his staying up into the late hours of the night to spell it out for me.  Nonetheless, I think our young friend might move into space "no friendship #......" (can't give you all the details).  And I may have to purchase an old fashion alarm clock if "friends" continue to find cause to text me late at night.

The TWSS text I got from Naveed today, on the other hand,
is perhaps not appropriate for audiences of all ages....

Since I'm going to be here for a little while, I've decided to try to make my mark on language here as well.  It's time for Bangladesh to start using "That's what she said" as common parlance.  I find it an appropriate comeback often (though usually at inappropriate times), so think that is a sufficient need for it.  I mean, the main beach here is called Cox's Bazar.  Come on!  Ruthie helped me kick off usage of TWSS in Chittagong, and we've already recruited someone else to jump on the bandwagon.   Ruthie left, so we are back at two champions in-country.  It might be a lot of hard work and we'll definitely have to recruit some more people, but I think that this could get really big and last for a long time.  (come on, I set you up).
And speaking of friends, and ridiculousness, and all things that are fun and games, we have a team picture from the soccer/football field.  It's nice to have some friends, in addition to my many, many "friends."  Good for my ego to get knocked on the ground here and there, and get made fun of in multiple languages every night.

We try not to play dirty, but it's hard since 2/3 of the field
lacks any grass......